How to Annoy Air Gear Characters
by DarkSilence101
Summary: 5 steps to annoy the major Air Gear characters. Ch 1- Ikki Ch 2- Kazu First person. Rated T for some coarse language. Suggestions and requests very welcome. Random Humour
1. Ikki

HOW TO ANNOY AIR GEAR CHARACTERS

**Ikki**

**1. Make him take a test to determine if he needs to repeat a year.**

"Ikki!!"

"Yes?"

He turned around slowly as he heard my screams from the end of the hallway. I ran up to him, still puffing, I broke the news to him.

"Mr Orihara told me to pass a message to you. He said that you need to take a test tomorrow morning. The test will determine if you need to repeat a year, since you failed all the topic tests this year."

"WHAT?! No way! Not again! "

Ikki dropped into a short moment of depression.

"What about Kazu and Onigiri? Do they have to do the test too?"

He looked at me with eyes of hope.

"Nope. Just you this time! Kazu just passed the last test and Onigiri is getting a different test."

I gave him an encouraging smile.

"Kazu, you son of a bitch!"

**2. Confiscate his Air Treks.**

"Oh yea. You have to study this time. Orihara has ordered you to attend an after school test preparation class today."

"WHAT?! You can't be serious. Is he trying to torture me to death?! I don't give a shit, I'll just skip."

"Sorry Ikki. You can't do that."

"Why not?"

From behind my back I pulled out his most prized possession. His Air Treks.

"Look familiar?"

"Where did you get those!?"

Ikki tried to grab them back but I quickly dodged all his attempts, moving them just out of his reach.

"It doesn't matter where I got them from. If you want them back, you're going to have to come to the preparation class. I'll give them to Orihara and he can return them to you, AFTER the test. Oh and also, I just happened to see Mikan on the street this morning and I told her about your test. She said that she was cooking BBQ meat tomorrow for dinner, and if you failed, she will tie you up and make you watch her eat it ALL!"

I smirked and took off before Ikki could explode.

"COME BACK HERE!! GIVE THEM BACK!!"

**3. Make him watch you eat BBQ meat.**

"What are you doing in my house!?"

As expected, Ikki failed the test and was now tied up. The Noyamano sisters and I were all sitting around a dining table cooking our meat on the electrical frying pan.

"I came by after school to tell Mikan your test result and she invited me to stay for dinner."

"MIKAN!!!"

"That's what you get for failing the test."

Mikan passed me the first piece of cooked meat.

"Here. Have the first piece. I bestow upon you the opportunity to torture Ikki first."

"Oh thank you."

I grimaced, picking up the smooth hot piece of BBQ beef with chopsticks and slowly placing it obviously into my mouth. Ikki's eyes started twitching. Time to take it all the way. I licked my lips and rubbed my stomach.

"It's great Mikan! The best BBQ beef I've ever had in my life!"

After Ikki heard my comment, he mentally exploded, struggling to free himself from the tight ropes around his arms and legs.

"Let me go Mikan!!! Stop being such a heartless bitch!"

I turned towards Mikan giving her a thumbs up. Mission Successful.

**4. Tell him that Kazu and Onigiri will think he is inferior if he doesn't advance to the next year level with them.**

"I'm glad you like it so much. Consider it thanks for saving Ikki from himself. It takes a lot of patience to offer to tutor Ikki after school, so he doesn't have to stay back a year."

"What?! This girl?! Tutor me?! Not in a million years!"

"Oh Ikki, do you WANT to stay back and get more torture from Orihara? Do you want Kazu and Onigiri to look down on you because they are smarter than you? They might lose all respect for you. I can imagine them laughing at you tomorrow. Such a wonderful picture."

"Okay! Okay! I'll do it. Just don't tell anyone about it."

"Sure. Whatever you say Ikki."

**Go out to eat and make him stay home by himself.**

"In thanks, let's all go out for dinner tomorrow. Our treat, for tutoring this dumbass for free."

"I would love to Mikan. Ikki, lessons start tomorrow straight after school in the library. If you try to run off and skip I'll tell Orihara and he'll hold you back. I'll also tell Kazu and Onigiri that you are a wuss and got scared by the sheer sight of simple maths equations."

"Fine you evil witch. I'll go to your stupid lessons. Mikan, get a reservation at that Korean BBQ place."

"What makes you think you're coming? You are staying here. You can starve tomorrow for all I care."

"NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!"

"Good luck with your studies Ikki."

"Thanks Ringo. But what I need now is to be saved from these two devils."

Mikan and I burst out into a state of endless evil maniacal laughter.

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**A.N My second Air Gear fanfic. :D I'm evil for torturing Ikki but still it was fun. Next is Kazu, any suggestions/requests?**

**Reviews:** Greatly appreciated just like constructive critisism. Thanks for reading.


	2. Kazu

HOW TO ANNOY AIR GEAR CHARACTERS

**Kazu**

**A.N** I do not own any Air Gear characters. And yes, I talk to myself. Call me crazy if you want.

**Credit goes to PartySpaz09 for first step, which then triggered all the other ideas.**

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**1. Write a love letter to Emily and say it's from Kazu. **

**2. When Kazu finds out tell him Ikki did it.**

From the back of the classroom, I watched my plan hatch and unfold.

"Ooohh. Emily look at this!" Yayoi pointed at a piece of paper tucked underneath Emily's pencil case.

"What is it?" Emily turned around and picked up the piece of paper, unfolded it and began to read it.

"Oh my gosh! It's a love letter from Kazu!" Yayoi screamed, grabbing the note from Emily.

"Shhh!! Do you want everyone else to know?"Emily whispered. Luckily for Emily, only a few people were in the classroom.

"He's going to be under the sakura tree in the school yard after school. Awww… Are you going to go?" Yayoi whispered back.

Emily snatched the note back. "Of course I am… Why would I miss an opportunity to be alone with Kazuuu… Be right back, I'm going to the bathroom."

"Okay. I'm going to go buy some lunch. Meet you in the cafeteria."

"Yes. Phase One complete." I muttered to myself. "It's time for Phase Two."

I walked out of the classroom and into the classroom next door. Inside, Kazu was standing alone at his desk.

"Hey Kazu!" I waved at him, trying to gain his attention.

"Hi. What's up?" He gave me a sluggish smile.

"Nothing much. Where are Ikki, Onigiri, Buccha and Akito?"

"There're up on the roof. I just came back to grab something."

"Oh. Okay. By the way, great job with the love letter. She looked really happy."

"Huh? What love letter?" Kazu gave me a confused look.

"You know the one you wrote for Emily. The one you put on her desk."

"What? I have no idea what you are talking about? Are you sure it wasn't someone else?"

"She said your name. But if you say you didn't write it… then it must've been…"

"Who was it?! I'll go punch their lights out right now! How dare they be such a wuss and use my name without telling me!" He raised his right fist and punched his left palm.

"Err… well I saw Ikki near her desk this morning. Maybe it was him."

"Ikki!? That son of a bitch!" Kazu stormed out of the classroom door and headed for the roof. I chased after him, stopping him at the door.

"Look. Don't make such irrational conclusions. It might not be him."

"What kind of paper was it written on?"

"Err… I think yellow lined paper, with black pen. The writing was pretty messy too."

"It must be Ikki! He's the only person I know with messy writing and uses yellow lined paper! Not that he ever takes notes in class. He just doodles. That's it! That jackass is dead!"

"Hold on one more second. About Emily, I think you should meet her after school. The note said you would be under the sakura tree after school. She seemed really excited. You don't want to let her down. It's the least you could do."

"Fine. I'll go meet her. Now could you please step aside? Stop protecting that dumbass!"

"I'm not protecting him. Go nuts." I step aside letting him run pass me.

"Sorry Ikki. It's out of my hands now." I said to myself. "Phase two complete."

**3. Steal his hat**

After school, I placed myself behind a bush that was conveniently situated next to the sakura tree. I could hear everything.

"Right on time."

I could see Kazu walking up the tree and then sitting down at its roots. Shortly afterwards, Emily appeared. Running up to Kazu, she greeted him with a giant wave.

"Hi Kazu! So what did you want to talk to me about?"

She sat down next to him as the sakura petals drifted slowly to the ground, spiralling and fluttering in the cool breeze like pink butterflies. It was the perfect romantic scenery.

"Ummm… well I don't know. Anything you want to say? Anywhere you want to go?"

"Huh? Err… not really I guess. You want to go to a café or something?"

"Alright. How's the café down the street? It's got pretty good coffee."

"Sure. Anywhere is fine."

Kazu stood up and proceeded to hold out his hand to help Emily get up. A sakura petal landed right onto top of Emily's head. After helping her up, Kazu told her to stay still. Emily froze with a surprised facial expression plastered on her face. As Kazu reached forward, leaned in, Emily shut her eyes, probably expecting something magical. But, all she felt was the light gentle brush of Kazu's skin on her head and a soft murmuring whisper in her ear, which both seemed to send chills down her spine.

"There was a sakura petal on your head."

"It's a perfect time to strike, while he's distracted." I jumped out from behind the bush and with one smooth motion, I swiped Kazu's white hat right off his head. I started to run, trying to get as far as possible from Kazu. He was going to go nuts.

"Hey! My hat! Give that back you asshole!" Completely forgetting Emily for a split second, he began to run after me.

"Sorry Emily! I'll be back soon! Wait there! You bitch! Come back here with my hat!"

**4. Throw his hat into the nearby river**

Kazu bolted after me. I ran passed a group of 2nd years, and dashed behind the school building. Kazu was sprinting behind me all the way. I was never a good long distance runner. I usually only did the short sprints for the school athletics carnivals and Kazu is a great long distance runner, so he was eventually going to catch up to me and snatch the hat back.

"If he catches up to me, I'm most certainly doomed for sure. Quick, THINK!"

Up ahead, was a fence. It was a wire netted fence with a gate which divided the school grounds from the river bank on the other side of the road. The school opens the gate after school to serve as a back exit. Taking a quick turn, I changed my course for the opening in the fence.

"Hey, Kazu! If you don't catch me soon you know what will happen don't cha?!"

I waved his hat in the air above my head. Making it obvious what my plan was.

"Shit! Don't do that! Wait till I get my hands on you! You'll be sorry!"

Completely ignoring his plea, I rushed through the gate, slightly knocking a few gathered students to the side. Heading straight towards the river bank, I stopped at the edge and threw the hat forward with as much force as I had left in me. I let the wind carry it over the bank vegetation and straight into the water in the middle of the calm river. It floated on the surface of that water, slowly drifting downstream.

By the time Kazu caught up to me in within the next few split seconds, it was already too late. He collapsed onto his knees mourning the loss of his favourite hat.

**5. When he asks you why you did it, tell him you are trying to teach him to swim.**

"Why did you do that you bastard!?" Kazu was puffing as much as I was, after our little run together.

"I thought you could do with some swimming lessons. And since you are too 'chicken' I wanted to give you some motivation."

"By throwing my hat into the river."

"Yup. It's great motivation. You want to give it a shot?"

"No. You think I'm insane! I can't jump in there with my clothes on! I'm going to fucking drown!"

"There's no harm in trying."

His hat had already floated well beyond our reach. The only way to get it back was to jump in there and swim after it. And there was no way I was going to do it for him.

"No harm?! Even though that hat cost me 15 bucks, I'm not going to risk drowning myself just to get it back."

"Really?"

"Yup. And YOU!" He stood up as I slowly backed away. "YOU are going to either get in there and get it back for me, or buy me a new one. If you were a guy I would seriously bash you up right here right now, but since you are a girl, I won't. I don't hit girls. You have 10 seconds to make your choice. 10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5!..."

"Okay okay!" I had to get myself out of this one. I had no intention of getting wet today, nor did I want to buy him a new one. There was just one way to get out of this. Sure it would end badly and he would get me back tomorrow. But it would be worth seeing his face.

"So… what are you going to do? They sell those hats at the store down the road from here. I'll take you." It was as if he was sure I was not going to choose the hat retrieval option. Well, he was very wrong.

"Nah. I'll get the hat back for you. Where is it? I don't think I can see it anymore."

"Okay… But you'll have to wash it for me too. It's..." Kazu turned around to look for it and point out where it was. I took this split second opportunity to step behind him and give him a quick shove.

Kazu, not expecting it, went hurling forward down the hill towards the water. He let out a booming scream and landed with a splash in the water.

Trying to hold back my laughter, I planned my quick getaway to avoid his wrath as he picked himself out of the water.

"Get back here!!!!" He stood up in the water, realising it was only waist depth.

"What are you yelling for? The water is only waist depth anyway. You can easily get your hat. It's right here." I walked down the bank several metres down from Kazu's position and scooped his hat out of the reeds. "It was stuck on these reeds the whole time." I walked up to him and threw his dripping hat on the ground next to him.

"Bye!" I dashed away whilst waving back at him.

"You could at least help me get out of the water you bitchhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!"

Kazu stood in the water and yelled several other insults at me, but by that time I was already too far away to care.

_Mission Complete_

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**A.N **Okay. That was totally random… I hope you liked it anyway, despite its pointlessness. If you have ANY ideas for Onigiri, Buccha or Agito please start sending them in now. I like to plan ahead. Thanks for reading!

**Reviews:** Constructive criticism and suggestions/requests are welcomed. Review cookies for all! ~


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